March 29, 2017
I found this article by Valeria Sabater in The Mind It is wonderful that, I imagine it will coincide with me, it has a lot to do with people who have fibromyalgia. Let’s read it and now we will comment.
Valeria Sabater 25, March 2017
“Sometimes we do it, we adapt to what does not make us happy as one who fits a shoe by force thinking that it is his size, and shortly, discovers that he is unable to walk, run, fly … Happiness does not It hurts and therefore must not oppress, nor touch nor remove the air, but allow us to be free, light and owners of our own ways.
A few years ago a brand of soaps that marketed its product for work environments launched to the market a specific range that was quite successful. Printed on the bar of soap was the phrase “Happiness is Busyness” (Happiness is being busy).
“The world wisely prefers happiness to wisdom”
While it is true that lines like the concept of “flow” Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi emphasize the idea that concentrating on a task in body and soul can give us happiness, in this equation must undoubtedly be added the factor that refers to whether that task in us Is significant or not. In fact, many workers saw with sad irony the slogan of these soaps, because not everyone was happy to carry out a task that, although it brought them an economic remuneration, what they did not have was psychological well-being.
We could say, almost without fear of being mistaken, that a good part of us adapts almost by force to many of our daily routines, even being aware that they do not make us happy (or using the simile of shoes, which make us blisters ). It’s like going inside a Ferris wheel that never stops turning. The world, life, happens nervous and perfect down there, inaccessible and laughing, while we remain captive of our routines …
We adapt to feel safe
From children our parents knotted us with a double knot the shoes or sneakers so that they did not untie and we did not stumble. We were tucked beneath the blankets and bedspread with great affection, the zippers of our coats and jackets went up to the top so that we would be very warm, cared for, cared for.
Many of those times we were somewhat uncomfortable by all that body pressure, but if there was something we felt was security. As we grow older and acquire adult responsibilities, this need to feel secure is very present. However, this indefinable drive for the continuous search for security often does not direct our behavior from our consciousness.
Curious as it may seem, the most sensitive to this need is our brain. He does not like changes, risks or even threats. It is he who whispers to us that “adapt even if you are not happy, because security guarantees survival”. However, and this we must be clear, adaptation does not always go hand in hand with happiness; Among other reasons because this adaptation often does not occur.
There are those who continue to maintain the bond of their relationship without a real love, without there being an authentic complicity or even less happiness. The important thing for some is to escape from loneliness and for this they do not hesitate to adapt to the size of a heart that does not go with theirs.
The same thing happens at work. Many people choose to show what is known as a “low profile”. Someone docile, manageable, someone who gets to lower merits and studies when writing his résumé because he knows that is the only way to adapt to certain business hierarchies.
It is as if in our mind there was a new engraved slogan, like that of the company of soaps quoted at the beginning: “Adapt or die, renounce to subsist.”
Now … is it really worth dying of unhappiness? ”
Well, as far as it goes, I think this article speaks clearly of getting out of our comfort zone – something that I would have called out of our area of discomfort.
Many of the things we start and do have more to do with the acquired learning and customs than with what we really want to do, since we are very influenced by what our families and our society instills in us. It is typical of the daughter who wants to be a doctor because her mother was or the son who wants to be a judge because his father was. Everything is walking according to what we are acquiring with the customs and with what the passage of time makes of them in our mind.
People with fibromyalgia tend to “endure” many things out of fear; For fear of not getting another job, for fear that nobody wants us, for fear of not being able to perform simple tasks for the rest of the people; For all this I have heard comrades tell me that they endure or have endured physical and psychological ill-treatment, that they have endured or endured in a job that costs them a lot to do and in which they do not feel valued for fear of not being able to find another or for fear Of being cast for poor performance. We endured departures with friends because otherwise they would not call us back; We have endured the pain so that our families had a good day of beach or field; We have endured the urge to cry because we do not want to sadden those around us or because we do not want them to get tired of us; We have endured so much, ill-treatment in childhood, pain to go forward, etc. And all this seasoned with the sauce of life, the pernicious comments of those who have our side always questioning and criticizing what we do not do or the complaints we have. All this we endure because it is true, our brain asks for security, a security that involves wearing a skirt three sizes less because it is the life we have chosen and the one that this brain knows. When you tell the brain, we are going to change, we are going to look for what really makes us happy, we are going to meet the life that I continue to dream, we will live it and enjoy it, because our brain is paralyzed by fear. Our brain does not want risks, it does not want to change the foundations of our lives, because it believes that, in managing the emotions, it knows perfectly what lives inside you.
But our heart is another, is an important element in this equation, it is the heart that cries when unhappiness settles in our lives for not wanting to risk going forward without that partner who was not our size, without that work that alone Was necessary to pay a few letters of a house that does not make sense to maintain, leaving also behind some children, and majors, that begin to fly. That is one of the moments of doing what we want in life if we have not dared before. It is time to release the rope that binds us to a place because there are our children. Encouragement to all, the moment is now; Meet with yourself and think what you want to do, visualize it, enjoy it in your mind, shape it, and when everything is already done DO IT; Do it for yourself, for your health, for your happiness, for the happiness of your people that will see you happier than ever. Do it, change what you do not care about, what you do not want; Start by removing clothes that you do not like or that you have big or small and give it to the wardrobe, do not keep it for yourself …. keep changing your home the objects you do not like or that you prefer to put elsewhere ; Talk to your children if you have them and explain that you want to live your moment, if you want and want to accompany you perfect, but if not, you will do it; Look at your partner, you want her at your side? Does it bring you what you need? Do you want to continue to contribute what you bring? If all the answers are affirmative, invite him, that if he does not want to accompany you is that something has escaped you, but they have not grown in the same direction. It is time to make decisions regarding that couple. BUT MAKE ME PLEASE START TO LIVE. LIVE YOUR DREAM AND STOP LIVING THE DREAM OF OTHERS.
Thanks for reading, I send kisses and hugs of cotton begging them to share to be able to help more people.