April 10, 2017

Árbol de la vida negro

Goodnight:

Transition Monday. Monday of the beginning of the holidays of the whole family; Of all. We are already settled in the south, with all the dwarves and we will try to see if we get to enjoy these days of vacations; surely yes.

Today I got up very tired, I do not know if because I knew everything I had to do to be able to come or because I did not rest well. I have a contracture in the back that is hurting a lot, which indicates that I did not sleep what I should nor is the best posture. I do not know if it is something of mine to the time, but I feel very nervous, very restless and with very little desire to do things. I miss Erica a lot and I do not see the day we can meet. Manoli is closer, but I miss her the same way. The other girls, Silvia, Angels and Bego – the Spaniards – and Zilca also miss them, and I have a lot of desire to know them. It pitiates me when I hear some say that it is wrong; I am sorry that they are so far away and can not do anything for them, just listen to them or read them and give them encouragement, but the contact, the hug, that comforts much more.

As I said I got up with a contracture in the back that is doing me a lot of damage. My body has gone from less – understanding less when there is more pain and less possibility of movement – to more, then to return to less. At this moment I feel that I no longer give for more, that my body needs rest, that I do not want and can not go on much longer. I want to rest and take things slowly, I want to feel good about myself and my body, I know that is very difficult, but I will get it; I’m going to get my body out of this pain at least this week, this is the children with us and I want you to enjoy the vacation hundred percent. So I’m going to carry on this state of lethargy to get my good attitude, the fighting attitude, the attitude of a warrior mother and a person who wants everything to go forward, because I know I can; I know I’m fit so I can get things out and that’s what I’m going to do. My sister fibromyalgia is going to have to wait for her moment because now it will not be possible for her, she has no space or space in the holidays of my family.

So if you want to join the enjoyment of the holiday week, do it, join it, live it, enjoy it, because it is what you are going to take in the end, it is what you will live and what you will remember; We have to enjoy this time we have for ourselves; Of this time that we have to share, to enjoy and to live experiences with our families and with ourselves.

Thanks for reading, I send kisses and hugs of cotton begging them to share to be able to help more people.

María Díaz.