June 20, 2017

Día soleado

Good afternoon:

Nice and sunny day in the Canary Islands. Nice morning with my son. I like to enjoy them individually as well, you know them better and are able to open up better and to count more things.

Well, I’m happy because I’m being able to follow the diet the doctor sent me. No sweets – of course – no dairy, no meat …. well, for short, fruits, vegetables and white fish. Only occasionally some salmon. Well, it’s a detail that I have not put maximum amounts, because otherwise …. As I said I’m doing raja table and I’ve managed to lose enough weight since then, so I feel lighter and more agile.

Another of the things I “forced” or recommended is exercise. Always smooth as walking and stretching exercises. Ana and I are walking an hour and a quarter a day and for the days that, for whatever it is we can not stay, I bought a stepper and, the truth is that I use it and yes it costs to do it. It’s fine for the days we can not get out for anything. You get to do it watching TV and you work a lot of legs and heart, which is what I need most at the moment, since I was losing all the aerobic capacity I had.

When you see the progress, even if they are minimal, you are encouraging and each time you set new goals, although now the goals are at close range, I can not demand more.

When the doctor told me that my ability to perform the activity I did before had been reduced by 70% and that it could only improve my quality of life but not my amount of it, I was a bit in a state of schok. The first thing was to leave the doctor and take a walk in Barcelona trying to make it seem like nothing was happening while talking to my children on the phone. The next thing was to go shopping to relax, although of course, “everything was fine”. The next day was something else. We had arrived very late to Gran Canaria, so we only had time to lie down and sleep. Upon awakening she was exhausted and with very little strength; It was there that I collapsed, I realized that this could be the rest of my life and it was when I began to cry without being able to articulate word. I cried and cried because I could not find any consolation in the solitude I was facing that day.

After unloading me I had to react and tell myself that this was not going to be possible with me, that I and I alone was the only one who could get out of that slump and that, really, the only difference that had happened in the doctor was that We had put a name to the rest of things because the symptoms were already suffering, so I called a meeting with all my brothers and my father to update them, then I went to the opening of the Olympics of the school of my Children and I stopped at a sports shop to buy the stepper, and I decided that I would put the batteries with my body, that I would lose weight and that I would stop eating what the doctor told me that I was very bad.

We are really sick, but I still insist that the attitude we take to the disease itself determines a lot the quality of life that we are going to have, so we must do the things that make us feel good, we must fight for our autonomy, we must stop To withstand people who are toxic to us, we must stop reading what we believe does not contribute anything or what bores us and we must make the movement and the outdoors our best friends.

Thank you for reading me, I send kisses and hugs of cotton begging them to live their lives, to stop being aware of the rest at all times and to do what makes them enjoy.

María Díaz.